… in which the blogger makes a confession and appears a hypocrite.

As you can see from the video above, I’ve done a complete, one-hundred-percent turnaround with regard to Apple. I know there’s at least one internet friend out there who is going to seriously take me to task for this, and there may be others as well, but all I can say is… what’s done is done.

I can’t fight it anymore. Mac has what I need, and I’ve gone and gotten it.

It’s going to make my creative life one helluva lot easier, and I’m going to be able to do some serious editing when I finally capture the footage I need for my documentary. Yeah, the one I’ve been saying I’m going to make for at least a couple of years now. The one about my father, music, and André Gagnon.

The documentary is moving closer and closer to becoming reality. All the signs are pointing to it coming together within the next few months. I have my new camera, which takes HD video, and now I have a kick-ass video editing tool.

It all bodes well. Now I just have to organize a road trip to the wilds of Québec and start a-shootin’.

It will happen.

Mark my words.

Let’s keep it real out there.

… in which a friend from the U.K. drops by for a guest post.

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The following post is from my friend Laura (@DruX73 on Twitter), who lives in Dorset, U.K., and is part of the G3 Radio team. Laura recently asked if I would like to write a guest post for the G3 blog, and now she’s returning the favor. Laura is known to frequent the corridors of Protagonize.com, which is where I first became acquainted with her and her husband (@DarkLiquid).

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The other day I killed thousands of innocents. I slaughtered them mercilessly and efficiently. However, I am also a Gaian, and part of my belief system is the fact that all life is sacred. So with this in mind, you can see how I might feel a little guilty about my act. However, even after I had carefully weighed up all the options, genocide still seemed the better option.

You see, I had to clean the mould out of my washing machine.

Like I said, as a Gaian, I didn’t view the mould as a pest; to me it has as much right to be alive as I do. I couldn’t even claim self-defence (as with bacteria in the body), since the intent to kill was there from the outset. This was clearly pre-meditated murder.

And yet, if I didn’t kill the mould, my washing machine would have become inefficient, using more water and electricity to clean my clothes. Eventually it would have needed replacing, using up more resources as a new one is made. Not only that, it could spread to my clothes and to the other parts of my house making them become inefficient and possibly deadly to myself and my husband.

All options point to killing the mould for the greater good. But still I came back to the idea that they, though tiny and unaware, are still alive. They had a right to a place in this universe as did I, even if right then and there it seemed their place was to gum up my washing machine. I hummed and hawed over this philosophical quandary for some time, looking deep into my soul, and asking my husband for advice (incidentally, he is a nihilist and just laughed at my heart-felt dilemma).

In the end I could see no other recourse; I apologised to the mould, said a prayer, and got on with the task of genocide.

… in which the blogger attempts to get over himself.

You know, sometimes I think I take myself way too seriously. I mean, I do have a pretty decent sense of humor, and I can definitely poke fun at myself, but I also spend an awful lot of time inside my own head, dwelling on my own problems and trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong.

I’ve also shared a lot of this with the blog-reading public. I’ve written about my personal journey and challenges, and I’ve been most gratified by the fact that readers have commented on these posts and actually encouraged me. That’s part of the reason I write these things. I want to connect with others, and I hope to somehow make a difference in someone else’s experience.

But at what point does public journaling cross the line and become public posturing and whining? At what point does “This is me” turn into “Poor me”?

I hope I haven’t crossed that line, but something way in the back of my head tells me that I’ve come perilously close.

I need to face the fact that I’m a very self-indulgent person. I’m an approval-seeker of the first order, and all those comments I mentioned have been very nice ego strokes. I mean, yes, I know everyone wants approval; everbody needs validation once in a while. But seriously, when you refresh your Facebook page umpteen times to see if anyone has commented on your status update, you know you’re in serious trouble.

So, it’s time for me to—as they say—get on with it. Instead of doing tiny little things and looking to see if anyone noticed, it’s high time I took some of those big things I’ve been thinking about, mulling over, talking about, tweeting about, and blogging about and actually start doing them.

I mean, how many times have I mentioned this documentary I “need” to make about my dad and music? How long does it take to get through another draft of my novel? When am I going to continue the Voices of Reason project and get another interview up on my blog? When am I going to stop sulking about my precious pantomine script and get back to my involvement with community theatre? There are so many things I want to do, and I am doing none of them.

[Okay, I actually am working on the novel. It just seems to be taking a long time.]

I guess you could say I’m fed up with myself. I’m tired of blaming everything on my “inner saboteur”, as I like to call him, and citing all the wounds and traumas I’ve experienced in the past as reasons for my lack of action.

It’s time to take my personal journey and repackage it. Instead of using it as ashes to spread on my face, I need to turn it into fuel for my creative vehicles. And, yes, there are a quite a few of those vehicles parked in my mental garage, but believe me, there’s more than enough fuel for all of them. I just need the right mix. And then… whoosh!

I don’t mean to minimize everything I’ve been through. I’ve fought hard for my mental health, and it will always be an important issue for me. I just think it’s time to move up to the next gear and honor my journey by making better use of it.

And, hell, I’m a creative person. I can think of a few ways to do that.

Let’s keep it real out there. (Time to take my own advice, eh?)

…in which the blogger waxes nostalgic about his favorite band.

With yet another gaping chasm in my blogging pattern now evident, this time due to a bout of procrastination brought on by simple forgetfulness paired with a massive viral infection, I’ve decided to abandon the post I’d been considering—which was to be a heartfelt rant about the establishment inspired by a fascinating if abbreviated experience at PodCamp Halifax—and turn my typing fingers to a touch of time-traveling. Musical time traveling.

It’s something I enjoy doing. When I’m not constructing lengthy, single-sentence paragraphs.

I’m currently revisiting the early albums of Chicago, my favorite band. Their career has been an interesting one, to say the least. Many people can’t stand them. They’ve certainly had their sour moments, but I’m sticking with them. They’re amazing musicians all, and they’ve produced some incredible music over the years. (more…)

The beginning of a new year seems like an appropriate time to get back to the blog. It’s been a month and a half since my last entry, but I’ve decided not to judge myself about that. It is what it is, and the fact that I haven’t been blogging is of no real consequence. Life has continued.

The truth of the matter is that I blog for myself. The fact that other people have commented on some of my posts and given me encouragement is a bonus. I can’t blog for other people, though. That kind of thinking sets me up for failure. If I try to make my blog into something that will please a certain type of person, or a certain group of people, then it’s not authentic. The blogging has to come from my true self, and if other people connect with that, then the blogging experience is enhanced for both writer and reader alike.

So, yes, it’s a brand new year. I’ve mentioned on both the Twit thing and the Face thing that I’m not into making New Year’s resolutions. It’s just not something I do. I feel it’s over-hyped and that it’s a thing that people do because it’s a thing that people do. (Sorta like Paris Hilton, who’s famous for being famous.) It’s kind of a collective mass-consciousness phenomenon, and it rarely turns out well, because people set the bar too high for themselves and ultimately fail in their attempts to make changes in their lives.

Okay, so, I’m a party pooper. (more…)

I have a picture posted on one of the walls of my cubicle at work. Each day over the last eleven days, I’ve been placing poppies around the edges of the picture. Eleven days, eleven poppies. The picture is of a young man in an Air Force uniform, his smile wide and genuine, his eyes twinkling.

I was named after this man. His name was Eric William MacDonald, and he was a sergeant in the Royal Canadian Air Force. He was stationed in England and was a gunner aboard a Lancaster bomber. Returning to England from a mission, they were coming in for a landing in a dense fog. The pilot misjudged the runway, and the plane crashed. All aboard were killed.

My uncle was twenty years old.

Today, I’m remembering him, even though I’ve never met him. My mom was eleven years old when he died.

I wish I’d known him. He was Mom’s hero.

And he’s my hero too.

Thanks, Uncle Eric, for going overseas to face grave and terrible dangers for your country, and for the rights and freedoms of all of us alive today.

Thanks to every person who has ever served their country, and to all those who are serving their country right now. You have, and continue to, make a difference.

I hope you took time to remember today too.

Thanks for visiting.

Welcome to the first interview of my Voices of Reason Project. I’d like to thank my talented friend Margot Sampson for agreeing to be one of two “guinea pigs” to get the project started. Margot is an accomplished singer, songwriter, actress, painter, and videographer. Oh, yeah, and she raps, too. Can you say “force of nature”? I knew you could. You can find out more about Margot at her website. Read on for Margot’s answers to my almost-probing questions.

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–First off, how would you describe yourself?

I would describe myself as a pretty happy person, someone who enjoys the adventures of life and who is genuinely interested in knowing what brings other people joy. I much prefer diving into an authentic conversation with someone and getting to the “real” stuff without too many of the usual pleasantries getting in the way. I laugh at myself easily and frequently—a good belly laugh goes a long way, and I’m a firm believer that laughter truly is the best medicine.

I am very sensitive to the emotions and energies of others, and yes, I sometimes get verklempt at a mere TV commercial, but let’s blame that on the hormones, shall we? I am fair to a fault sometimes (it’s the Libra scales!) and a good listener, though I do my fair share of talking too… some of it, admittedly, to myself. I’m starting to feel like I’m answering a questionnaire for a dating service, so I’m going to move on to the next question… (more…)

About a year and month ago, I posted a small gallery of photos on my blog (the old version of my blog… the one I had to delete because it got hacked… but I’m not bitter). I had taken some pictures at Lawrencetown Beach (here in Nova Scotia), and they’d turned out pretty well, especially considering that I’d been using a little HP Photosmart M437 that had no viewfinder. The LCD screen had been damnably hard to see in the bright sunlight, so I really wasn’t sure if I was getting the shots I wanted.

Thankfullly, most of them came out pretty well. Well enough that I felt inspired to post them on my blog. I received some nice comments from readers (including a photographer friend of mine, whom I deeply respect and whom I am interviewing for this blog’s Voices of Reason Project… no, the project is not forgotten… it is still in progress), and I got to thinking how nice it would be to get back into photography again. Time was, many years back, that I worked at the camera counter of a department store and learned quite a bit about photography from the experience. I took some fairly experimental pictures back in those days, and my Lawrencetown adventure stirred in me that old familiar longing to get out and start a-shootin’. (more…)

There’s so much going on that I have to write three blog entries in one. I’ll make each of them a third the size of a normal blog post, so you won’t be scrolling till a week from Thursday. Same great bloggy taste, but only a third the calories.

Here goes…

Paddytum, by Tricia Heighway

Every once in a while, you read a book that just sits entirely right in your brain. It fits, it’s comfortable, it makes itself at home and weaves its way into your psyche. Paddytum, the début novel by Tricia Heighway, is just such a book. I finished reading it last evening, and I was sorry it had ended. It was a sheer and utter delight. (more…)

I’m not going to tell you all about my computer woes again. I’ve already done that once in the last incarnation of this blog, back when I reinstalled Windows XP after buying a used computer. Suffice it to say that my website/blog has been hacked twice now, and I’m concerned that it was malware on my Windows XP providing someone with my ftp password. What I’ve done has been rather drastic, but it’s been a long time coming. I’ve abandoned Windows XP and am now running Ubuntu 10.04.1 on my computer.

That’s the nutshell version. You probably don’t want to know the gory details.

Of course, this switch of operating systems is going to come with some growing pains. Some of the tools I’ll have to use now will be different from those to which I’ve become accustomed on Windows XP. For example, I’m typing this text in a program called TextRoom, which is similar in basic functionality to my beloved WriteMonkey, but lacks a metric ton of WriteMonkey’s features. I hope that maybe, someday, if I’m very, very good, Iztok will port WriteMonkey over to Linux and allow me the freedom to jump around my document (like a monkey) and quickly export my Markdown formatting to HTML or RTF.

In the meantime, I’ll use the Perl script provided by the Markdown site to convert my text files to HTML and paste the results into my blog posts. It sounds cumbersome, but it’s really only a few steps. Given all that, however, I’d still prefer WriteMonkey. But I’m done with Windows XP, so I’ll have to make do.

But all that’s just an aside, really. I little bit of “What I’ve Been Doing With My Week”. Other than training in the new job, that is.

I’m here to revisit the idea that I put forth in my last blog post: The Voices of Reason Project. (more…)