Efficiency or Expression? Inverse Laziness

I'm still thinking about the whole internet language thing. I have to try to think about it when I'm in just the right mood, otherwise I start ripping pieces off furniture, which is at best unproductive.

But seriously folks… There's another aspect of the whole lazy language / abbreviation / LOLcats debacle that I find really puzzling. It doesn't make me any more annoyed, fortunately. It just makes me scratch my head and wonder: "WTF?"

You see, I understand that people use abbreviations and acronyms and what-have-you because they're trying to save time by typing their message faster. I get that. I'm not a big fan of it, but I get it.

So why, then, are people now taking the abbreviation LOL and not only turning it into word, but giving it variant spellings?

I've seen "LOLs", "Lawl", and "Lawls" at various times, and while I understand what is meant, I don't understand why on earth anyone would want to do that. If LOL was meant to be a time saver, then why would you want to add letters to it and make it longer to type?

Where's the efficiency in that?

LOLcats pokes its objectionable nose back into this discussion as well. People everywhere are adding two letters to the end of the exclamation "Oh no!", causing William Strunk and E. B. White to twitch in their graves. Again, inefficient, but this time with the added feature of sickening cutesiness. I won't type the miserable phrase here, lest I vomit upon my keyboard.

And what's this business of removing a perfectly good "O" from the beginning of "Okay" and replacing it with a string of "M"s? It's silly, it's stupid, it's impractical, and it doesn't make any sense.

Sigh.

Make up your minds, people. Do you want to be efficient and type faster, or do you want to be more expressive? Because if it's the latter, then I have a very simple suggestion for you.

Learn how to write a damn sentence.

The English language is an amazing thing. There are so many ways to put your thoughts together, it's almost mind-boggling. There is limitless opportunity for expression, and a million-and-one ways to make your expression uniquely your own.

Plus, it's fun.

Knowing the rules of language is not restrictive. It's quite the opposite, in fact; if you know the rules, you can see even more possibilities for putting words together. Knowing how the language works enables you to use it well and make it work for you.

I can't see a downside, personally.

But then, I'm a linguaphile, and a bit of a purist at that. Some readers may roll their eyes at my vituperate vilification of internet slang, but it doesn't change the fact that they, too, use language every day. If you use it, you might as well know how it works.

It's a never-ending journey. I know a lot about the English language, but I sure as hell don't know everything. I still have lots to learn. And, well, being a language geek, I get excited about learning more.

Your mileage may vary.

But I least hope I've given you food for thought.

Because understanding each other is our best hope for preservation of our species and the world in which we live.

Ha! Gotcha! A message of peace and environmentalism to finish off my tirade. Weren't expecting that, were you?

So with that, dear readers, I end this entry and set myself to toddling towards slumber.

I bid you goodnight.

Gesundheit.